.png)
Breach Your Mind
Explore life's depths and unlock the secrets of mental well-being on "Breach Your Mind." Join us as we navigate the intricacies of the human experience, offering insights, inspiration, and practical strategies for a fulfilling life. Get ready to breach the barriers of conventional thinking, embrace self-discovery, and nurture your mental health. Let's embark on a transformative journey together. Welcome to Breach Your Mind.
Breach Your Mind
Finding Purpose: The Path You’re Meant for Doesn’t Shout—It Whispers
Originally aired in 2021. This republished episode still hits home.
In this raw and personal episode of Breach Your Mind, Bryan and Chris revisit the timeless question: What’s my purpose—and how the hell do I find it?
Bryan shares how a message seen on a church bathroom wall—“Be still and listen”—became a guiding principle through his journey from teenage firefighter to seasoned law enforcement leader. Chris opens up about the emptiness he felt after leaving the military and how a spontaneous act of compassion revealed his deeper purpose.
🎯 Topics covered:
- Finding meaning in misery
- How your strengths may already be pointing you toward purpose
- The role of signs, silence, and reflection
- Why your purpose doesn’t need to be grand—it just needs to be real
Whether you're in transition, feeling stuck, or just questioning what's next, this episode is a reminder: Purpose doesn't shout. It whispers. You just have to get quiet enough to hear it.
💬 We'd love to hear your story. Email us at breachyourmind@gmail.com or connect via social.
🔗 More at breachyourmind.com
Team 1, stand by. Copy. Team 1 standing by Breach Breach Breach. Hey guys, welcome back to Breach your Mind.
Speaker 1:Tonight we're gonna, I guess, keep on the same serious path, as Chris called it earlier. As Chris called it earlier, we're going to talk about finding a purpose. Don't know about a lot of people, but I constantly think, not just like what, about what I'm in, or anything like that, but I'm constantly thinking, my brain's constantly coming up with different ideas and asking different questions, and, quite a while ago, found myself in a position where I was doing a job that I liked. I was working outside, which I love to do, but I wasn't exactly happy. It wasn't. It wasn't bringing me any joy, if you, if you want to put it that way and I wound up asking the question to myself a lot of times what is, what is the purpose? Why? Why was I given the intellect that I have? Why was I given the size that I have, the drive that I have? Why was I given so many things that I felt were abilities that I wasn't really using? And I questioned it for a long time. And one day I got to thinking back back to when I was a teenager and try not to laugh.
Speaker 1:But I was a teenager and I was in my church and I'd gone into the bathroom and just as I got done washing my hands and was about to walk out, I looked up and saw this wallpaper, this border wallpaper, going around the top of the bathroom and it was a tree with a person standing looking at the tree and all it said was be still and listen, and even to this day, I thought it was something like a Bible verse. Matter of fact, I spent quite a bit of time trying to find that specific Bible verse, because I was actually going to read the Bible verse that it come from. But come to find out in the Bible it talks about being still listening and things like that a lot, and what. That particular phrase that I read so many years ago didn't pop up in any of the verses that I was reading and me take it in the sense that I took it then and then, when I was in my early 20s, applying it then Because see the way I took it was I was basically blocking myself, I was thinking too much about it and what I needed to do was basically shut up You've already asked a question Shut up and wait to be told what the answer was. So I started doing that more Whenever the question would pop in my mind, which is usually on a hot summer day and I'm in some sign that's probably 120 degrees in there and I'm sweating my balls off, changing a huge thousand watt light bulb or something, or using a shovel.
Speaker 1:I'm not a big fan of digging large holes with a shovel, um, but it usually pop up around those times that I would question you know why, why this, why that? Um? So one day it just kind of hit me. It kind of hit me that what I had done my whole life was not to try to make money, it was I helped people. Going back to when I was 16 years old in my hometown, I joined the volunteer fire department at 16. So at 16 years old I was going around and helping the certified firefighters put out fires and work crashes and do things like that.
Speaker 1:Then, when I got out of high school, I quit working the volunteer fire department and I joined up with the military, spent a little bit of time there and left out of there, only to find myself in this job that, while I liked it, it didn't really kind of give me any fulfillment or joy.
Speaker 1:And it wasn't until a little bit down from that, you know, when I finally figured out that what I'd done my whole life was just help people. You know, even when it come to friends and family, you know, I would move friends and family into my home and try to help them out, and at times it was to the despair of my family when it comes to finances. But you know, we were willing to do it. We had family and friends that needed help and that's what we did. So it only made sense to me when I finally cast a lot of care aside, because one of the things that I'd always thought about doing was, you know, being in law enforcement, and I was kind of scared to go do it. For the simple fact of, you know, I had a bunch of friends that didn't like cops. As a matter of fact, my wife is not a fan of cops, yet she's been with one for almost 16 years.
Speaker 1:No god, I'm way off yeah, you're way off yeah, way off when she edits smack the shit out of you yes, she is, so wait, it's 2021. Yeah, we'll have been together. February will be 23 years we've been together. Yeah, you're a little ways off there, buddy.
Speaker 2:That's what I said when you said 16, I was like they said that.
Speaker 1:But I looked at the screen and you were like nodding. So I was like, oh, we're good. And I was well we were.
Speaker 1:We were still on the fact that she doesn't like cops yeah, but oh god, wow, I haven't just it didn't sound right when it come out I was like god, that didn't seem that long. I've been on the job for almost 16 years but been married for almost well, been with her almost 23, married 22. Sorry, babe, but you know she was not a fan of cops Still not a huge fan of cops. Cops still not a huge fan of cops. Um, but that being said, you know I finally decided to put a bunch of that aside and stop worrying about what everybody else liked and whether or not they would still be my friend and decided to go ahead and do it. And that's what I've been doing for the last almost 16 years is is being a cop. You know, finding myself going and trying to help people, regardless of what the situation is.
Speaker 1:I've talked about it before with other people. There's been plenty of situations where I'm in that I'm in the car on the way home after a you know big incident, and the only thought that runs through my head is you know big incident. And the only thought that runs through my head is oh, that was stupid. Why did I do that? Mainly because you know I'll think about what needs to be done and do it, and then afterwards all the other stuff comes in on what could have gone wrong. I was talking about that with somebody last week, but that's what I've been doing and that's what's given me my joy. That's what's what my purpose felt that it was was simply to help people and whatever facet that was. So that was that was how how that all went for me. That was how how that all went for me. What about you? You, uh, what's your, what's your thoughts on purpose? I know we talked before we uh hit the record there, but what's your thoughts on it? Um?
Speaker 2:trying to get my thoughts together. Three 30s catching up to me, um, I'm kind of in the same boat as you Now, in my late 20s, creeping up on 30, I'm very goal-driven and I feel like I have to have some purpose. If I'm doing something, there has to be a purpose to it, and I find satisfaction in especially what I do now. But prior to joining the military, especially after I graduated high school, I had that down period of time where I was just I mean, dude, I was hanging out on my dad's couch in North Carolina and all my friends were going off to school and literally I lived for the weekend, like I would wake up and play video games and eat junk food and just be a lazy piece of shit, leave a mess. My dad would come home from work and I put that in quotations because he, you know, worked at a driving range, you know, so it was real strenuous on him. Hey, work's work man.
Speaker 2:Hey, work's work. You're right. I mean he still had to get up early and stuff. So I mean good for him.
Speaker 2:And you know I'd be laying on the day of laundry that I was supposed to put away. You know, and Really my dad wanted me to do something with my life. Obviously he also knew that I didn't really have any sort of direction and he would joke, but he wasn't joking when he said you need to get your ass off my couch and go do something. You know he would joke, we'd laugh about it and then we'd watch football or whatever we were doing. But I knew he was serious and I had to take a look in a mirror one day and say what are you doing with your life? You know, and, uh, and, and that's what it took for me to take that leap.
Speaker 2:I mean, one night I, I looked at him. I said, hey, I'm going to the recruiter in the morning. You want to go with me? So I got to work. So okay, so I'll go by myself. Well then, I think at some point he went with me and he talked to the recruiter or whatever, but I don't think it was the first trip. Um, so I, I drove my ass to the, to the recruiter, and and sat down and and and talked with him. Um, I'll never forget he was that typical recruiter you hear about. Oh, speaking of recruiters, by the way, it is 11, 11. So happy veterans day, happy veterans day, sir.
Speaker 2:I appreciate it, appreciate your service.
Speaker 2:This country appreciates your service. Don't ever forget it. So anyways, as I was saying, he was the typical recruiter. You know, drove a damn Camaro, you know, mr, thank me for my service. But and I ate that shit up, and I was. I mean, he saw me walk in the door and he said, yeah, buddy, I got this sucker and luckily I had some some pretty influential people that I knew, so I was able to get you know what I wanted.
Speaker 2:Now, did I necessarily fulfill that initial contract agreement? No, I didn't. But you know, I was able to at least enlist with the contract that I wanted to. It didn't. It didn't necessarily mean that, hey, this is what you're going to be. It was hey, this is, you're set up to go down this pipeline. If you can hack it, I could.
Speaker 2:Um, so the military was really fulfilling and I had a sense of purpose there and I loved every minute of it, even the times where I'm sitting there freaking, picking weeds out of a bunch of rocks or sweeping a dirt motor pool, like I mean, looking back on it now, I'm like dude, that was, that was the shit. You know, I got to run around the woods and blow shit up. That was fun. You know what I mean. Um, but obviously, over time I met my fiance, now my wife, and at that point in time the uh, my reenlistment window wasn't there. Um, to where I wanted to go, and I, I opted out.
Speaker 2:The scariest part of transition was getting out, and getting out of the military was what the hell do I do next? I can get that, and I mean it drove me. It drove me straight to a bottle of alcohol. Like I mean, I'm telling you, from the time I got up to the time I went to bed, that's what I was doing, because I just I had no clue, I had no direction. I just knew I was getting out, yeah, and I didn't. I didn't want to go to school, even though everybody that you know talks about getting out and, oh, I'm gonna go to school, I'm a party, I'm a smoke weed, whatever. Um, but that's a bunch of lip service, that's just what that. People just say that just because they think that's what people want to hear. Yeah, um, and some people go do that and they're successful at it. I, I could, I wouldn't have been successful at school, um, not at that point in my life. Um, so I was.
Speaker 2:I was talking to my, you know, a family member and he was like, well, what about law enforcement? You know it's, it's paramilitary. I did it for. You know he did it for 20-something years. So I said, okay, cool, I look into it and figured out what I had to do to get into it and I was like, oh shit, I can put myself through this with the post-9-11 GI Bill. I said, great, I'll get paid while I'm there, it'll work out great. So, you know, there were some hiccups along the way and but. But eventually I got myself signed up and went through the academy.
Speaker 2:I ate up the academy. I loved it, you know it was. I mean, it was gravy compared to what I'd been through. And but I was learning. You know I got to drive cars and you know you're, you know learning laws and stuff, and that stuff interests me. You know, from the, from the first day I sat down and they started teaching you, you know, basic criminal procedure. That stuff interested me. I was like, damn hell, yeah, this is my cup of tea that was the hardest class for me to stay awake.
Speaker 2:Yeah, everybody else is like half falling asleep and I'm, I'm loving it, like I thought it was great. And then, uh, you know, you start getting into the, you start getting into the actual, you know laws of the state and and I actually studied like I couldn't believe it. But I actually, like studied. I never studied in school, so at that point in time I realized, okay, well, this is this, is it right here, this? And to this day I've got guys that are that I work with and you know you and me have both said this, even even on this podcast. Some days we're just like why do we even do this shit? You know it's. You know, sometimes you're just like this shit ain't worth it. But and I think that's anything anybody does there's not going to be, you're not going to be happy every single day.
Speaker 2:But I've got guys that you know they're around around the same amount of time. We haven't been in law enforcement since the birth of Christ, like you, but I mean, we've been in a decent amount of time. And they look at me and they're like dude, I hope one day I can come into work and have the attitude that you have. One day I can come into work and have the attitude that you have and I know that probably surprises you because you, I used to have to work for you, but but it's true, like I, I come in and, dude, I love this shit, I love, I mean, I love it and I there was a period of time that you remember that I was looking at jobs outside of law enforcement because I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to get a job in the state I'm in now.
Speaker 2:Just, it was very difficult to even get a call back and it's mostly because of the, the region that I'm at, that I'm in, that I'm in it's burning. You know, freaking, billy Bob is the sheriff and freaking, he hires all his damn cousins and that's it, like nobody else but family. It's it's still real rural where I'm at, and so it's really hard, you know, not necessarily, you know, even for in-state people, but coming from a totally different state, not knowing anybody, it was hard to get a job. Luckily I found one, but, dude, I was miserable, like I would be on like Indeedcom and stuff, like trying to find jobs.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I was absolutely depressed. I remember Like it was horrible. So, yeah, like once you find that purpose in your life and you find that, that, that where you get that gratification, it's, it's a game changer, it's a hundred percent game changer. Yeah yeah, I think you know I think.
Speaker 1:I think during that time you were trying to find a job up there, you were uh, you're also talking about selling insurance. You had said something about selling insurance.
Speaker 2:You had said something about selling insurance. Yeah, I talked about getting my CDL.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was going to say if you sold insurance, make sure it's like life insurance or something.
Speaker 2:I mean, yeah, I mean it's. I mean it was. It was horrible that that part of my life. It was a very short period of time in my life, but I had to figure a way to get up here to my wife. I had to, I had no other choice and she was on my back about it. You need to get up here. You need to get up here. You need to get up here. Okay, well, let me find some meaningless job where I'll be miserable, but hey, at least I'll be up there.
Speaker 1:Hey, you go to lowes, man get 10 discount.
Speaker 2:It's fine how long you think I last in lowes?
Speaker 1:oh, not long at all. I didn't think so. I don't think you'd make it through orientation no, probably not.
Speaker 2:I'd look. I'd look at who's give, whoever's giving me an orientation. Be like man.
Speaker 1:You're fucking worthless I don't think it'd be more along the lines you look at him going. Why are we doing this? It's stupid.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's stupid. Why do I need to wear?
Speaker 1:Why do I got to wear? You think this little thing's going to keep me from falling out of that forklift?
Speaker 2:Yeah, this is stupid. Wait a minute, you're going to let me drive a forklift. Hold on, I go around forklifting shit all the time About like the Sawzall. Yeah, exactly like the Sawzall.
Speaker 1:Sawzall shit all the time. That's all I do walk around my house Sawzall and shit.
Speaker 2:So to get back on track, now that's it's. You gotta find it or life ain't worth living.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I agree with that. So another thing that I was thinking about whenever I was thinking about this particular topic I don't know how you are, but I'm a firm believer in signs, that basically, wherever I look, wherever I listen, whatever the case may be that there's signs around us all the time and, depending on where you are in your life, what you got going on in your life, there's signs around you trying to help you make decisions and make decisions in the right way when it comes to those things. And I believe that when I was trying to figure out what my purpose was, that that was one of the things that kind of spurred it on, Because obviously I spoke about the wallpaper border that said be still and listen. And what that translated to me was stop trying to think I've been told I'm an know. Stop trying to stop trying to think I've been told I'm an overthinker. But stop trying to think Be still, Listen, you know, let it come to you, Let you know. If you want to put it in biblical terms, let the Lord speak to you and tell you your path. And I think that even now, when I couldn't find a Bible verse to support that particular aspect of it to me at the time. That was the sign. You know, I saw it when I was like 16 years old and in my early 20s is when it finally played a role and I remembered back to it. You know, be still and listen, and it's something that I even still do today.
Speaker 1:You know, I know a lot of people, that a lot of people joke about it, laugh about it, whatever, Um, and they'll say that no, you're just, you're just giving meaning to a meaningless thing and yada, yada, yada. But to me that's just not the case. You know, from being my friend for as long as you have and working with me, that there's a lot of times I'll ride around listening to classical music and the purpose of it is one there's no words to distract you, which I don't catch. A lot of the lyrics on a lot of songs anyway, but there's no lyrics to distract you, it's just pure music. And to me, music, music uh, produces emotion or or draws emotion as well.
Speaker 1:And a lot of times I'll put on classical music just to kind of slow my brain down. I use it a lot whenever, you know, I can't figure something out or I've just got too many things going through my mind and I can't sort through them, so I'll put classical music on and in. You know my current setting. That's my way of being still and listen. You know everything's running amok and I can't slow it down. I can't slow my brain down to organize my thoughts or sort through them and try to pick through all the different facts and this, that and the other, so I wind up putting on classical music and it helps slow my brain down so I can be quiet and just kind of listen and typically I'll wind up seeing some signs, whether it's something I hear, whether it's something I see.
Speaker 1:And you know, I think, like I said, that was that was a huge thing when I was working that private sector job that, even though I liked it, you know, it didn't give me any fulfillment. Um, that it was being still and listening, it was paying attention to what I saw back when I was 16, 17 years old, 15, somewhere in there. I saw it all those years ago and then I'm a young adult and, well, an adult, and that's when it finally played a role in my life and to me that was the sign. That was the whole purpose of me. Looking up and seeing that wallpaper border was to teach me that in times when I can't figure something out or when it's weighing too much on me or I've just got too much going on, to just be still and listen, and it was because of that that I was able to sit back and think clearly about what my purpose was, to think about what I had done my whole life.
Speaker 1:You know I for my whole life I've been bigger than most people. You know I'm six two and for the vast majority I think, I was six foot when I graduated high school. So I gained like another two inches after that. But even when I became a freshman in high school, I was taller and had broader shoulders than most of the seniors, which caused a lot of people to think that they wanted to fight me and I'm not somebody that really cares to fight, so I would just kind of walk past them. But that was that was that time.
Speaker 1:And thinking back on it, you know that whole time, my size and my this and my that. Look forward now I'm 42 years old and been doing the same job for almost 16 years, and there's been plenty of times where my size, my intellect, the way I do things, that every one of those are skills or abilities that I have used my entire life, or features that I've used in my entire life, my entire life. And had I not decided to be still and listen and look for the signs, or notice the signs when they showed themselves, I would have never have done, you know, I would have, I would have skipped right over it, I would have probably still been doing some job that, um, you know, wasn't giving me any joy, wasn't wasn't bringing anything to me, and, know lord only knows how my future would have changed, or the, the futures of the lives that you know, I've come in contact with since I decided to start doing this.
Speaker 2:Um, you, you have any belief in, in signs or anything like that I'm a firm believer on it in, uh, if it's meant to, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. I don't know necessarily about signs, maybe in a different way than you, right, but you know, if things work out like there's, things are going to work out like they're supposed to work out, and I agree with that You're going to be in a position at a certain time because that's, that's what's where you're meant to be, and that's just.
Speaker 2:That's just kind of how I look at life. Yeah, Everything falls into place for a reason but you don't think that there's.
Speaker 1:that's just kind of how I look at life. Yeah, Everything falls into place for a reason, but you don't think that there's. You don't think that there's any particular reason why you would make one decision over another. I'm not trying to get all philosophical.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, no, no. I mean not, not in the way that you are describing right, not in the way you're describing I in the way that you are describing right, not in the way you're describing I.
Speaker 2:I, just I, I think that a lot of times I go with my gut, uh, which has never really failed me too bad. You know it even. You know even sometimes I'll go with it and my guts tell me, no, don't do it. But I'll still do it. But I had already gotten the fair warning signs from you know, whatever your subconscious, that hey, that's probably not a good idea, but hey, you live and you learn it's gonna be what it's gonna be right it's gonna be what's gonna be.
Speaker 2:You know my favorite, my favorite term ever? It is what it is. Yep, a mutual friend of ours got me a, a sticker and that's on my truck.
Speaker 2:It is what it is that's because it's a fact yeah, that is true, but uh, but no, I uh see, I'm super goal driven, right, I set goals for myself and um and it. It drives me mad when I can't meet those goals and like, if I can't obtain those goals, like a lot of times I'm very impatient, you impatient, yeah, if I get, yeah, can you believe that I would never have?
Speaker 1:guessed that obtain those goals A lot of times.
Speaker 2:I'm very impatient, you impatient, yeah, can you believe that I would never have guessed that about you? So if I get something in my mind like, hey, this is where I want to be, this is what I want to do, and if I can't reach out and touch it right now, it drives me mad. And I think that drives me a lot of the time to do certain things a certain way once again. Sometimes sometimes it works out shit, sometimes it don't you know, but a purpose.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'll kind of falls back in a little bit. You know it keeps me. It keeps me waking up in the morning. That's all that matters.
Speaker 1:That's a good thing, I appreciate that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right. Well, I, uh, I don't really have anything else when it comes to this. This is a fairly simple topic. Simple in the sense of at least for me, it's simple just because, you know, I believe I found my purpose, and I think that's even carried over with the podcast thing, which was helping people, which was the whole, you know, reason for starting the podcast to begin with was to try to help people.
Speaker 1:Um, yeah, life throws us a lot, of, a lot of curve balls and not everybody is prepared early on in life to handle a lot of those curve balls and we're put into situations that we weren't really prepared for to begin with at times. And so that's kind of. That's kind of where I was going when I decided that you know, you know what, let's, let's do a podcast, see if we can reach a few more people and kind of help them out, so that that purpose that put me in law enforcement is is what you know even is the, I guess, catalyst or support for doing the podcast. So I think my key takeaway whenever I was trying to prep for this one and everything was you know, at least for me, and you may have some different advice, but at least for me, when you're trying to figure it out, don't think you know everything you know.
Speaker 1:Don't sit there and try to force your mind to do something that maybe at the moment it's not capable of doing. You know, take a step back, you know, sit still, be quiet, listen, you know listen. Listen to what your body's telling you. Um, if you're, if you're spiritual, um, listen, listen to listen to some scripture. You know, there there's tons of different things meditating. You know there's tons of different things meditating.
Speaker 2:I heard that's a big thing now.
Speaker 1:Meditating.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I mean it's, I tried it.
Speaker 1:I can't do it. I promise you, if I sit and try to meditate, I'm going to sleep.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was my problem.
Speaker 1:Well, and I've noticed that even while you were sitting here talking, and while I'm sitting here talking now, like I'm sitting here rocking this chair, it's it's all due to I can't sit still. And if you, if you expect me to sit still long enough to get into a meditative state, I guarantee I'm probably going to start snoring.
Speaker 2:Therapists are like that's like what they're pushing now is like, hey, you need to meditate like 10 minutes a day. Yeah, it's called sleep for me, thanks, yeah well. Yeah well, I looked at what I said. Yeah well, I'm just gonna fall asleep so I mean, and my wife's gonna come in the room be like, uh, no naps, you gotta get up and do something.
Speaker 1:Anyway, I didn't mean to interrupt you, I'm sorry, no, you're good man um but it's basically where it was getting to was find some way to create some peace in your mind, clear out the clutter and, like I said, as an adult now I got so much stuff going on that I don't really I don't get a whole lot of time to sit and just be quiet. Lot of time to sit and just be quiet, um, whether it's because I'll fall asleep or or whatever, I'm usually probably doing research on another hobby to pick up or working on another hobby or something along those lines. Um, you know, I just I don't find time for it so often enough. It's typically when I'm in a vehicle, um, vehicle riding around, you know, for whatever reason, I'll put on some classical music and just kind of let that music try to slow my brain down. And I have other things that there's been times where the music wasn't enough. I don't know if you saw it, but I keep a fidget spinner with me in my vehicle as well. There's times where I've had to have the music going and sitting there. You know, get that fidget spinner going and it's just to kind of get my mind to come off of everything else, focus down to getting that spinner going and then, once I can focus on something like that, then I can put the fidget spinner down and just listen to the music and it's all stuff just designed to get me, to get my brain to slow down, so I can process.
Speaker 1:So if you're at that point, and if you're not, that's fine. If you're not at that point where you question or wonder what your purpose is, or anything like that, that's completely fine. You may never have that question. Like I said earlier, I'm not trying to get philosophical with anything, but that's something that I know. I'm not the only one, I'm not the only person that has thought about what my purpose is, why I had the abilities and the intellect and yada, yada, yada. You know why was I given these tools and to not be using them. I'm not the only one, um, but if you are somebody that that's not, you know, that's not happened don't, don't look at it as a bad thing. Um, you, you may not ever get to it, and that's perfectly fine. Your brain may be 100%, perfectly content with right where you are and, again, nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 1:But if you're somebody that can't figure it out, if you're sitting there trying to figure out why you are who you are, why you are the way you are. Just try that. Sit and listen a little bit. You know, stop trying to get in the way of whatever force it is that's trying to point you in the right direction. Heck, you can just in to try to see how popular a topic like finding purpose is. You know, google search you wouldn't believe how many pages there is, uh, google pages there is on self-help books and youtube videos and podcasts and so on and so on that talk about this exact thing. And here we are adding, just adding to that.
Speaker 1:Um, so I mean, it is a, it is a thing that people can consider and think about. It's something that does perplex and cause people a mild form of discomfort. You know it's discomforting when you don't know why you are who you are. So that's kind of my key takeaway on this that if it's something that's got you, if it's something that's weighing on you, just take a deep breath, try to settle your mind down and just listen, listen to whatever it is that gives you guidance. Uh, with me, like I said, it's, it's signs, it's you know different things. Just kind of let that take over and help you figure it out. You know it may not give you the answer, but it'll help you figure it out. So you got a key takeaway as far as that goes.
Speaker 2:No, I'm pretty fortunate and kind of like you at a young age, I've kind of found my purpose, at least in my opinion. Like I said, offline, I think. Different stages in your life, you have a different purpose or you tend to find a different purpose in your life depending on what stage you're at. But for now I'm right where I need to be and I don't know if I've ever told you this. I'm sure I have shit, but I might as well tell everybody that's listening it kind of hit home. I knew I was in the right spot doing what I'm doing now, my very, very first year, my first agency. Dude, I wouldn't cut, I wouldn't, I wouldn't cut loose from FTO. Three weeks coming into the PD and there was a, there was an old. There was like an old grocery store that was right in front of the PD and there was a. There was an old. There was like an old grocery store that was right in front of the PD to and how we get to the back parking lot. You go kind of through that old grocery store and I noticed this car sitting kind of off in this corner and I'm like that's weird. I hadn't seen that car there. And so I look at it and there's there, there's somebody in it. So I kind of like loop back around just out of pure cup curiosity and, yeah, being nosy, and I noticed there's a woman in there and she doesn't notice me and she's bawling, like bawling. I'm like, oh man, well, I should make sure she's okay. You know I'm trying to go home, but I should make sure she's okay. You know I'm trying to go home, but I should make sure she's okay. So I click on, uh, click on my audio and video recording system, I knock on the window. She, like is all startled. She jumps my hey, I'm just checking to make sure you're okay, like perfectly normal to sit in a parking lot, cry your eyes out. But I'm just checking to make sure you're okay, like perfectly normal to sit in a parking lot, cry your eyes out. But I'm just checking to make sure you're okay, um, and she looks at me and she's like you know how many people have driven by me today? And I'm like, have you been here all day? And she's like, yeah, I said well, I'm one of them. I'm sorry, um. And uh, she said no, I'm just, I'm having a rough, I'm having a rough go. I just got out of the marine corps, oh, and I was like, oh really. And she's like I just got out of the Marine Corps. And I was like, oh really. And she's like, yeah, I just got out of the Marine Corps. And you know, me and my mom are having issues. I'm living with her, we're having issues. I don't know what I'm going to do. This transition is for the birds. She said much worse words, but she's found foul mouth. She's from new york, no, so yankee accent and all. So I'm talking.
Speaker 2:We probably talked for 45 minutes, um, and she didn't want to go back to her mom's house. Um, she didn't have any money. She, I mean, she was in a bad, she was in a bad spot and I think me getting out of the military and her just getting out of the military kind of tugged at my heartstrings a little bit. So some people on the shift I called them say, hey, this is what I got, um, she don't have anywhere to go. Uh, turn her daughter I forgot to mention her daughter was in the backseat, little young little girl. And so everybody kind of got together. We threw it. It was like payday. So we all threw in like 20 bucks, yeah, and got our hotel room.
Speaker 2:I know we're, you know it's. I mean, it's not taboo, but it's kind of like one of those unwritten rules you never give anybody your number. You know you don't want your phone blocked. Well, three weeks out of FTO, I gave this woman my number. I said hey, listen. I said I've been where you're at. I didn't know what I was going to do either. If you need anything, give me a call. So probably, dude.
Speaker 2:I want to say like three years down the road, I'm sitting on my couch with my wife and we're watching. We're probably watching shameless or something and I get this text message from this New York number and I'm like what the hell? And I read it and it's this I'm telling you. It's like a five page text message. And this woman basically said hey, listen, like I don't know if you remember me, but I'm the girl in the parking lot that you stopped by to check on. I've been there all day. You're the only one that stopped to check on me and you and me talked for 45 minutes when my daughter was asleep in the back seat. I just wanted to say thank you.
Speaker 2:I was on the verge of committing suicide, like I was on that verge and you, you helped me that day and I was able. It took a long road, but I've got my own apartment now. My kids are in school, everything's going much better, and obviously it was longer than that. I don't have the text messages in front of me, but that that right there I was like, well, that's why I do this shit.
Speaker 2:You know, oh, yeah, and that's and that was kind of that, that sign that you, that you say you know that I, I, I knew I'm, I'm where I'm meant to be, yeah, so I I hope anybody listening that's like dang, like I, I don't know what I'm doing with my life right now, I don't know where I'm supposed to be. I hope that eventually they find that you know that purpose, that to be. I hope that eventually they find that you know that purpose, that and they're, they're satisfied with where they're at, cause it is a good feeling to wake up and say you know I'm, I'm good with where I'm at in my life right now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um, I said something before we started recording. Um, would you agree or disagree? That purpose is synonymous with passion? Agree or disagree? That purpose is synonymous with passion? Agreed, okay, and I just happened to think about this.
Speaker 1:I was reading through earlier today some quotes from Gary Vee and he was talking in these quotes he was talking about passion, and one of the things he talked about was you know, basically, go out and start a business or some kind of entrepreneurial venture based off your passion, find something that you're passionate about and go try to make money for it. And one of the things he said in there kind of ties in with what you just said is, if you don't know what you're passionate about, then try different things, try different things until you find one you like and then go make money off of it. For those of you who don't know, gary Vaynerchuk goes by Gary V, or he's called Gary V, big time entrepreneur. He's got a great story about how he came to where he is now. He's a very humble guy, um, but that was one of the things he said is, if, if you can make a, if you can make money off of your passion, then go do it, but if you don't know what you're passionate about, then try a bunch of different things, find one that you are passionate about and then go out and do it, and that kind of goes along with what you just said. You know one that you are passionate about and then go out and do it, and that kind of goes along with what you just said. You know, if you don't know what you're wanting to do, what your next move is or whatever the case is, you know it kind of falls into that same category. You know, not everybody knows. If you feel like the path you're on is not the one for you, or that's not your purpose, or whatever you want to call it, try something else. You know there's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 1:You know, starting out in this career field, I had an unspoken rule that if I was going to leave it, I would do it within five years. Once I hit the five-year mark, I was vested. I wasn't just going to throw five years of hard work, dedication, effort and passion down the drain. You know, if I was going to make that move to get out of it, the five-year mark was my mark. Once I hit that five years which came a lot faster than I thought it would. Once I hit that five-year mark I was like, no, I can't imagine getting out of this right now.
Speaker 1:And, like you said earlier, there were days where I was like man, I don't even know why I do this crap. I was telling somebody the other day that this job, this career, this passion, it's given me more ghosts than I care to have. I've got ghosts that live in my head that will be there till the day I die because of the things that I've seen doing this job and because of that. You know there's a negative connotation that comes with it, but looking back on it, I wouldn't have any other way, you know. You know it sucks.
Speaker 1:I I've said it plenty of times it sucks but somebody has got to do it and you know that's, that's what we're for, that's what we do. We, we help you get through the suck as much as we can. Um, we don't get seen that way by a lot of people, um, especially in in modern, uh, social times. Some of it and I think you and I both agree some of it's earned, oh yeah, absolutely, but there's a lot of it that's not. You know, a lot of people see this career field as all we do is ride around and try to write speeding tickets and take people to jail and ruin people's lives, and that's that's not what it is. It's not about that. You know, when you're talking about terms of traffic, I would venture to say and I could be wrong, but I don't think I am that you give more warnings than you do. Citations, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, 100%.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's the vast majority of law enforcement. So that negative aspect alone is just pure bull. It's based on, based on pure speculation on somebody that's just bitter that they got a traffic citation. A lot of what we do is why I can't, you can't, even put one hat on it. We wear so many hats where social workers, where, where you know, crime fighters, whatever you want to call it we, we do so many different things that impact people's lives for the, for the positive and also for the negative. But we do so many different things and that's what comes along with the job.
Speaker 1:But I wouldn't have it any other way. You know the ghost that that I live with. I would rather them be with me than with somebody else. You know I ghost that I live with I would rather them be with me than with somebody else. You know I, at least during those times, I was able to be with people. That one, you know, needed me to be there Um, and and my team, obviously, um, needed us to be there, but at the same time, you know, I was able to stop someone else from having to have that. Not trying to make it sound grandiose or anything like that, because it's not. Every one of us that do this job does the same thing, and it's the same with everybody in the public safety profession firefighters, emts, paramedics. You know they're, they're, they're all the same. We all have the same scars that have come from this, this career field, but none of us would have it any other way, because this is, this is our purpose and our passion. So I don't all right. Well, you got anything else, brother?
Speaker 2:Nope.
Speaker 1:All right. Well, I don't have anything else, so I guess we'll go ahead and end this one. Guys, as always, we most humbly appreciate any attention that you've given us and sitting through listening to us ramble on about whatever. Please don't hesitate to reach out to us. Any of our social media links that have a way to reach out to us you can do that. You can hit us up on email, at breach your mind, at Google or at gmailcom.
Speaker 1:Reach out to us, whether it's a question you have, whether it's a topic you want to hear something about, whether it's criticism, whether it's something positive. We want to hear it all, and that's what we're here for. So don't hesitate to do any of that and Chris brought it up last episode or once before hey, leave us a review Any of the social media platforms that you happen to come across us on. Leave us a review and, regardless if it's good or bad, we take it all. We know we're not perfect and we don't know everything, and we're literally only speaking from our experience and knowledge. So give it to us. You know, whatever it happens to be, reach out to us, give us some reviews, give us some likes and help us keep pushing this thing along. So until next time, be safe, and we'll catch you on the next one.
